Sunday, 27 September 2015

My Top Ten... Dad Jokes!

In no particular order... *and no I'm not a dad!*

1. Tulips are better than one.

2. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

3. Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.

4. What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I'll ketch up

5.  I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu. 

6. Velcro… What a rip-off.

7. What's Forest Gump's Facebook password? 1forest1

8. I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

9.  I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

10. A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"


  1. So Funny! Do dad's really say this kind of stuff?

    1. Hey Sandra. Thanks for stopping by. I have no idea - but they must there are websites dedicated to dad jokes!

  2. Hahaha...I've known dads who do. My dad is much to serious for that. But my husband is a retired Ringling clown and sometime standup comedian, and he has a huge bunch of one-liners he uses over and over on us. I keep telling him he needs new material! Here are some of his:

    *sniffs a dollar bill* Mmm, mint. Gover-mint!
    Someone mistakenly says to him: You are funny. His response: Yeah, well, looks aren't everything.

    Yeah, it's a laugh a minute. I tell people it is like living with Jim Carey. Funny for the first ten minutes, then you just want him to shut up!

    1. Hey Susabelle thanks for stopping by. Your hubby sounds hilarious but i probably would want to shut him up too!

  3. Replies
    1. Hey Calisa thanks for stopping by. I live number 7 too.