Sunday 27 September 2015

My Top Ten... Dad Jokes!

In no particular order... *and no I'm not a dad!*

1. Tulips are better than one.

2. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

3. Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.

4. What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I'll ketch up

5.  I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu. 

6. Velcro… What a rip-off.

7. What's Forest Gump's Facebook password? 1forest1

8. I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

9.  I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

10. A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

6 comments:

  1. So Funny! Do dad's really say this kind of stuff?

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    1. Hey Sandra. Thanks for stopping by. I have no idea - but they must there are websites dedicated to dad jokes!

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  2. Hahaha...I've known dads who do. My dad is much to serious for that. But my husband is a retired Ringling clown and sometime standup comedian, and he has a huge bunch of one-liners he uses over and over on us. I keep telling him he needs new material! Here are some of his:

    *sniffs a dollar bill* Mmm, mint. Gover-mint!
    Someone mistakenly says to him: You are funny. His response: Yeah, well, looks aren't everything.

    Yeah, it's a laugh a minute. I tell people it is like living with Jim Carey. Funny for the first ten minutes, then you just want him to shut up!

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    Replies
    1. Hey Susabelle thanks for stopping by. Your hubby sounds hilarious but i probably would want to shut him up too!

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  3. Replies
    1. Hey Calisa thanks for stopping by. I live number 7 too.

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